It’s amazing how much one person can change after attending college. He went from being a person who lives strictly by the rules to questioning things. I would have thought he would become the most uptight person I knew, but he’s now kind of liberal. He became interested in Buddhism before I did, which was surprising, given how conservative he seemed. He even became interested in wine. He and I weren’t really friends, but he saved my life. I think now I’d call him a friend because he and I could have the best time just talking and doing nothing.

I applied for a new job today.  It’s a job doing work that is similar to what I do now.  The job is being a criminal defense lawyer, but it pays a lot more than my current job, which would be great.  I’m having delusions that I might be able to buy a car that is not prone to mysterious engine/fuel injection problems.  I was very proud of myself for printing such a nice looking resume and cover letter.  I had gotten special paper and matching envelopes a while ago when I was on the “I need a new job” kick.  Unfortunately, I didn’t use the special supplies during that time at all.  Well, it worked out great today, and I think everything looked super professional.  Now the waiting game begins.  I am really hopeful about the possibilities, but don’t let my calm smile fool you; I’m scared out of my mind.

Here’s the other shocking change I’m considering, which is less scary, but it’s still scary: I’m thinking of getting an Etsy account.  I have no idea what I will put on there.  Maybe ATCs, or maybe I’ll actually learn to make plushies, or maybe I’ll actually create my first chandelier.  Who knows.  I can’t imagine that having an Etsy account is expensive because so many people have one.  Shockingly, everyone on there also seems to be successful in having other people interested in their work.  I think I need to take some more time before I take the plunge, but I think doing this could be a good experience for me.

Neil epitomizes the struggle that every person faces every day. What I love about Neil is that he always tries to do his best and he tries to make other people feel happy. He lives in the moment as much as he can, but like all people, he struggles with emotional problems involving attachment, and he has alluded to other more serious problems. Despite his struggles, during some of the worst times he tried to cheer me up and he always remained calm and stable. I believe that his wife and child are very lucky to be loved by him.

She’s the pants wearing ex-wife of a judge who gives her new husband’s psychological program kickbacks by sentencing defendants before him to that program. She apparently teaches college, which scares me because I would have dreaded to be in a class with a professor like that. She is overbearing and acts as if she knows everything. She also can be catty with other women. Recently a humbling and embarrassing family secret came to light, which I hope will cause her to be more compassionate toward others. I wonder if she’s too afraid to reach out to other women for help.

Today I started reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.  It was a book recommended to me by my therapist to help me with my creative endeavors.  The book supposedly helps you find and unblock your natural creativity.  So far I’ve skimmed into Chapter 2, and I’m impressed.  As I was reading along my own negativity popped up, but the book addressed all the issues as the arose.

Tomorrow will be my first day of morning pages, and later this month I am scheduled to meet with a group of people who are also reading and completing The Artist’s Way.  I really think this book will help me find my creative side and help me to improve my motivation and quiet that little voice in my head that says I can’t.

Now I just need to plan my Artist’s Dates, but I’m feeling a little lost about that.  I hate to admit it, but I think I might have to Google for ideas on this one.