One of our first fights was at Christmas when I was14 years old. She bought me thermal underwear that didn’t fit. When I told her that the gift needed to be exchanged, she said, “Oh, I didn’t know you were that fat.” From that moment on I never again called her “Nana” and only called her Frances. My grandfather had always called her Frances when he was annoyed with her, and I knew she hated it. I also only wore black around her. I began to realize why my father avoided Frances and why my mother is so cold.