I tired of people stealing my pens at work. Now, maybe they’re not technically “stealing”. I’m sure they’re “borrowing” my pens and down the road “forgetting” that the pens are not theirs.

My office supplies unlimited pens in the form of Papermate Blue Stick Pens.

These have a tendency to be taken by people in court and never returned, but that doesn’t bother me too much. The office supplies an unlimited number of these, and I hate using them anyway. These pens are so cheap that even if the office had to buy hundreds of extra pens to replace the ones that are taken, I don’t think that would really impact our budget. What I don’t like about these pens is that you frequently have to scribble to get the ink flowing (meaning slow writing during jury selection), they don’t write at strange angles (like leaning on courtroom walls), the caps are very rough, and these pens seem to develop inky goo blobs on the tips or on paper that inevitably spread to my hands and light colored suits.

As a result of my dislike for the pens supplied by the office, I’ve started buying my own pens and using them at work. Buying my own pens doesn’t cost so much, and it’s worth it to have a pen that writes well and is a pleasure to use. For years I have had only one favorite pen, the Pilot G2 0.7 Gel Ink Blue.

Unfortunately, other people recognize the superiority of these pens to the Papermates and frequently “borrow” without returning. Today I bought some more Pilot G2s, and decided that, taking a cue from my secretary, I’m going to label my pens so that either people recognize that these Pilot G2s are not theirs, or at least I can surreptitiously repossess my pens.

My secretary labels her Papermates by affixing a neon-colored sticky note with her name on it to the barrel of the pen with tape. I tried this, but it was blinding and irritating to my hand. Besides that, the neon note would make it obvious that I’m a pen freak, which I don’t want to do. So after stopping by the pen aisle I went to beauty supplies and picked up some acetone nail polish remover and cotton rounds. I came home and used the two to rub off the gold Pilot logo from the pens’ clips. Then I used an Elemer’s Painters Opaque Paint Marker to label the pens with my name. I’m so proud of myself because the result is durable, aesthetically pleasing, and hopefully will prevent me from losing these pens. And yes, I’m a pen freak anyway.